This is an article I’ve been thinking about writing for a wee while now. I guess I put it off because it’s one of those ones that’s quite personal but also important for you to understand me as a Blogger/ Vlogger. In turn hopefully you will comment below and let me know a bit about you.
I think when most people think Makeup, they think superficial. A way of masking or changing who you are, Hiding maybe.
My story is a wee bit different, my relationship with makeup and fashion started out when I was 22years old. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve worn makeup all my life, even used to sneak it in my bag to school and put it on in the high school bathrooms! But now it was different, I was diagnosed with an Autoimmune disease which meant my body was slowly fighting and shutting itself down at this point. I’m not going to go too deep into the ins and outs of my condition (as It doesn’t define me) but, I will say that during this time life became so difficult that I was housebound for several years. This was mainly because part of my condition means that I have extreme sensitivity to the UVA/UVB light. This is obviously omitted from the sunlight but not just when it’s shining, there was just as much risk on a cloudy day for me. Then there was the Fluorescent lighting in the shops and the shopping centre lighting which had a very similar effect on my condition. This meant that for us a young family we were very limited as to where and when we could go out.
My body was letting me down, it was giving up and there was nothing I could do except lie back and watch. It’s like that dream where you need to scream but then you go to and nothing comes out…. I used to try and push myself through the pain but it only made things worse.
I decided that although I had absolutely no control over what went on inside, or the next time I was going to end up rushed into hospital, I could control what I looked like. Now this might sound like it’s a waste of energy or time and yeah maybe for some but I needed something to make me feel sane. I started slowly every day just little by little practising again. I always had to be careful what products I used, believe it or not there are some ingredients that can cause me problems with my skin condition due to the disease. I also must wear a high factor sun cream daily (50+) and you can only imagine what that looked like 16years ago! It felt so nice taking a little control back, feeling like it was up to me what I looked like. People would even say to me ‘but you don’t look sick’ and I think had I not had my stick or chair then I would have passed for ‘normal’.
My disease hasn’t gone away and it will never will, there is no cure and unfortunately over the years I’ve picked up a few more conditions along the way but for me that’s not the important thing. I feel like my disease has given me an opportunity to grow and develop my passion for Makeup and Beauty that maybe I wouldn’t have before.
Now my makeup is my power, I wear it and I feel strong like I can take on anything. I guess that’s why I will always be brutally honest in my thoughts and reviews. To me it’s so much more than ‘just foundation’ or ‘just eyeshadow’ it’s Strength and Confidence. Having a great look on is the difference between feeling like you can go out and Take on the world rather than feeling like hiding away in your house. I might be 38years old but everything I have is mine, every line, every wrinkle and what you see is what you get, I’m really enjoying my journey now and I’d love it if you join me on it too.
So, that’s what makeup means to me, What does makeup mean to you…….?